The price of love

Unlikely....
I really love my iPhone

Well it's that time of year again, the time for roses, chocolate, and Sophie writing a blog which makes all of her loved up friends glad not to be her. I jest (mildly) of course, as most of my mates view my dating life as one to live gregariously to.... “he said WHAT?” (something very rude on only our 2^nd drink), “he did WHAT?” (cried about his soon to be ex-wife over starters), “he dumped you WHEN?” (day before my birthday since you're asking), followed by the inevitable “Oh Sophie, your stories do make me laugh” etc etc. And while my love life is indeed quite the laughing matter, I'd now, on this most romantic of days, like to tell you it aint all coming up roses. Especially in the financial department.

You see, you smug marrieds (or long term relationshippers) have your costs to bear, them flouncy, bouncy wedding dresses don't come cheap after all. But that aint a patch on the costs we have to bear in single life. Naw, am not talking vast boxes of tissues required as we weep into our solitude on Valentine's night (and since tonight I'm watching 3 hours of Idris Elba prancing around on my tellybox, kickboxing in nowt but his altogethers, no sobbing required thanks very much), but the price we pay for just existing without throwing ourselves off the nearest bridge, well that is some financial burden to bear.

The Valentine's Card
I found today

Think about it, we pay all of our household bills and housing costs alone with no one to share the bed with, and speaking of beds, them hotel rooms get kinda pricey holidaying alone. And don't get me started on gifting... I mean, we're not resentful of your joys in life, and engagements, weddings & christenings cost everyone. However they costs us twice the price and goddamnit, we want someone to celebrate us every now and then. Carrie Bradshaw got it right when she said “If you are single, after graduation, there isn’t one occasion where people celebrate you”. In fact the only day we make a saving is Valentine's, unless you count the piles of chocolate we bought ourselves or the latest bulk purchase of therapy sessions which we inevitably need at the realisation we are utterly repulsive to the opposite (or indeed same, let's not be heteronormative) sex. So overall life is pretty pricey when you go it alone, and 25% off our council tax cuts very little mustard.

Oh, and dating, oh dating. Smug marrieds, do you know just how expensive it is to date nowadays? A study by The Centre of Economic BusinessResearch concluded a few years ago that the average single now spends £127 per date! Cor! That's nowt to be sniffed at, especially for this girl who doesn't like a guy to pay for everything. But £127?? While it may not include the cost of the valium when it all goes wrong, it does apparently take into account the following factors:

The  guerilla marketing ploy
it turned out to be

- Clothes: Understandable, turning up naked might get the date off to an entirely awkward (to say nothing of chilly) start

- Transport: I rarely travel beyond zone 5 for a date, but still Transport For London make a pretty penny out of my love (or lack thereof) life

- Hairdressers / beauty treatments: That said, mine goes no further than a good hair straighten, perhaps where i'm going wrong?

- Gifts: considering last year I didn't get a Valentine's Day card, let alone a gift, from a guy I had started dating, I think we can wipe this one off his lists of costs if no one else's. Needless to say, the gift of a bottle of rather nice port I got him stayed on the shelf for some time.... until I drank it all myself while skyping my similarly single Canadian friend at 3am, obvs.

- Cosmetics: well, understandable, no one wants to see my unmade up mug

- Contraceptives: you have to admire the optimism on this one!

And this doesn't even include any pretty penny spent on dating subscriptions neither, which begs the question, can one put a price on love? It seems very much so.

But apparently with all of our £127s splashing about all over the shop, we're doing wonders for the post Brexit world. That self same report said that in our quests for love (or sometimes just lust), us singletons are contributing over £5 billion a year to the British economy! Not chuffing bad single lonely people, we're doing good! We're very much a one man, or indeed one woman, Brexit recovery plan! GET IN! So next time we're down the pub, out for dinner, buying paltry gifts for your 3^rd child's latest birthday/exam celebration/christmas present, take pity on us. Don't pity us for our singledom, don't pity us for our solitude, pity us for our empty bank balances and get that next round in on our behalf. Cos we might not be feeling too flush after all of our unsuccessful dating forays. Saving the economy one date at a time really does cost, and in a post Brexit economy, you owe us one.

Now I'm off to watch Idris Elba & knock back some vino, enjoy your overpriced steak and chips and cost of a ramped up Uber home. This single woman has some perving to do. 

HELL YEAH