My Big Fat Election Diary Part 3

Day 5: ELECTION DAY

Donut? What donut?

So here I've been, out in the ole US of A, intrigued by the machinations and excited in a rather weird pervy way for the outcome of this election. And putting to one side the amusements of previous days, today has been a big day. Y'see, not only am I lucky enough to have a Dad based in the US for me to have a homestead from which to observe the goings on of an American election, but also he has some friends who absolutely don't mind involving a random Brit in their election day activities.

The first highlight of the day was at my Dad's girlfriend's polling station. Now, I don't know where I got this from but I've had this notion that Americans give out free food on Election Day. I think the West Wing that gets the blame for this, I am sure someone gave out waffles on Election Day? I have been contradicted by several people on this point but when I saw donuts at her polling station, I made a beeline for them, and helped myself. Upon scoffing at least half it turns out that these donuts were not only not intended for random Brits with a predilection for pastries, or indeed for yer run of the mill voters, they were in fact electoral staff snacks.. And here comes this Brit just snaffling them at will, putting firmly to pay the theory that Brits are naturally imbued with manners, decorum and etiquette that Yanks could only dream of. Oops. My only saving grace was that they were paid for by the local Republican candidate, who looked only too pleased to meet a potential voter covered in chocolate frosting.... until he found out not only was I not a potential voter, but that the closest I would ever get to a Republican is bellowing OFF WITH HER HEAD at dear Queeny should I ever get the chance. Ach well. Onwards and upwards I thought, and bring on the waffles.

Stage 2 of democracy day came courtesy of my Dad's mate Peggy. We'd never met, but as a Democratic volunteer hearing about my interest in all things American electoral, she asked if i'd like to join her in getting out the vote.... Fast forward from that very kind invitation and you get my second highlight... GETTING OUT THE VOTE! Upon opening my mouth at Fishtown (weird name I know, but lets gloss over) Vote Hillary HQ, I was met with an enthusiastic welcome. Not only were they grateful for all and any volunteers but they were especially taken with the idea of a Brit lending a hand. And I wasn't alone. Apparently they'd had visitors from Sweden, Australia and even New Zealand who had flown over to lend a hand in ensuring that the orange faced, hamster haired, click bait candidate didn't get a sniff of the White House. So armed with a script and a clipboard, out I went with Peggy, knocking on doors for all we were worth, alas only let down by the fact that no one actually appeared to be at home. Out of the 80 or so doors on which we knocked, we only met 2 people, one of whom was heading out to vote, and the other was soon to do so. Although I would've loved to have seen more, we did our job, and if our small part in encouraging people to go and vote (but yet never telling them for whom upon to lay their democratic hat, after all, I wouldn't like it if a Yank told me what to do in a British election) makes a difference, I'm glad. I took part... and I got a free donut out of it. Actually a donut and a 'munchkin' (a donut in miniature for the uninitiated) handed to me by a local Senator's wife at a local polling station at the end of the day.... yes I met a Senator too, and I got more baked goods. And frankly, who wouldn't love that?

It was odd y'know, in fact with results only just coming in and a large glass of booze in hand, it still is odd, knowing I've taken part in an international election. But the thing is, this election has an impact, and not just in the States. It has the potential to affect the rest of the world, no matter whom the winner. After all, whoever wins they are, apparently, going to be the leader of The Free World. Commander in chief of one of the biggest militaries on the globe with potentially an itchy trigger finger over the nuclear button. It impacts upon us all. Hopefully for the better, but who knows? Only a crystal ball set 4 years in the future will be able to tell us. All I know is I've done my bit, this citizen of the world has contributed, and most importantly, I was right all along about the pastries. TAKE THAT AMERICA!

Pre-emptive celebrations?