It's A Family Affair

Please excuse any typos on this here blog post, for as I write I am currently chugging my way across the notoriously turbulent Irish sea....  Yes, the pipes, the pipes are indeed calling for I am off to the land of my forefathers (and foremothers too natch, lets not be sexist). But why am I returning from the land from whence I came (ok, my grandparents came)? Well it's a 50/50 split really. Primarily because it's time to reenact that age old tradition of The Family Reunion, and secondarily to assist my dear mother with the primary care of my rather aged, much loveable grandma.

Now, ito my recollection it's been near on 34 years since the last family reunion, and since I am a mere 35 years old at time of writing the recollection itself is somewhat shaky, if not impossible. In fact, the only evidence I have of said reunion is a picture of the day taken by my grandmother, of me & my brother sat on my mothers knee. On the reverse of said photo is my grandmother's near indecipherable writing dating the picture to 1978. Those of the mathematical persuasion may by now have figured out that I wasn't even born in 1978 (am an 80s child, as all the best are), so either that baby is an imposter or my nan's maths is way off.  As far as I can gather from that previous reunion, much fun was had and the only scandal to air was that of my 3 year old brother licking the vinegar off all the pickled onions (it was the 80s remember, am sure pineapple and cheese on sticks also made an appearance) just before they were consumed by the haplessly unawares extended members of my family. Fortunately no after effects were experienced, or at least if they were, they haven't as yet made their way into the annals of family history

But pickled onion licking is the least of my worries at this reunion, as I recently stumbled across some FBI figures relating to just how dangerous families can be (don't ask.... my search history is a veritable cornucopia of useless facts). According to said stats, in 2009 as much as 25% of US murders were committed by family members of the victim.  This increases even more when you include murders by spouses/ partners. WOWZERS... 25%? You gotta be kidding me! Families are chuffing lethal! And considering that we appear to have almost 150 members of our family pitching up to this event from as far away as Australia and Canada (we'll have more flags on display than a UN convention), perhaps I ought to be fearing for my life instead of merrily chucking back a pint of Strongbow at the ferry bar in an effort to combat seasickness.  

My only consolation thus far is the person organising this reunion is a detective with the Dublin police force, so if we're not in safe hands then at least our murders have a higher than average chance of being solved.... I hope. And if not, then perhaps I ought to have sent that imposter in my place after all.