Round and round and round we go

So, as you may be aware as I have banged on about it if not incessantly, then at least twice in recent blogs, I am now hitting the high road, with the wind in my hair and all of the vehicular opportunities opening up to me that a provisional license can bring. And oh, what opportunities. I was a little nervous of this proposition at first, as I have previously thought of myself as having all of the coordination of a drunken bumble bee. However, having taken the challenge on the chin, I am now more than halfway through my driving lessons & it seems my pre driving pessimism was unfounded. After all, as my mate Lou says, 'well if them stupid fecks in Geordie Shore can manage to drive a car, I'm sure that you certainly can', and I am thrilled to announce, it appears I can! 

Initially I thought my bête noire was going to be clutch control. I had heard tales of this fiendish skill and I fully admit, at the start I was a bit sloppy, stalling here, there and everywhere. I was, ahem, rather clutching at straws (sorry, couldn't resist), however while I may not have entirely mastered the clutch yet, I am most certainly on my way to conquering it. Rather it appears that something I had previously thought rather benign that now crops up in my nightly mares, looming ominously out through the mists of my nocturnal horrors. That of the roundabout..... 

In my endevour to understand more about, and indeed how to handle, these haloes of the highway I have discovered a vast amount of information out there about the roundabout. Did you know, for example, that over half of the roundabouts in the world can be found in France? No? Me either but The Economist tells me so, thus it must be true. Personally, I had always envisaged the roundabout as a particularly British phenomenon, which is why I was startled to learn that the very first roundabout, nay 'gyratory flow system' (to give it its proper title) hails from the US.  Specifically Columbus Circle in NYC (built in 1903), which is even more surprising when you consider the devil may care attitude you often see displayed by most New Yorkers when it comes to road safety. It seems the UK jumped straight on that circular bandwagon with our first roundabout constructed in 1906, in Letchworth of all places, whose only other claim to fame seems to be a rumour that Lenin may, or may not, have visited in the early 20th century when Bolshevism was banned in Russia. Seems unlikely but you never know...

                                  

But roundabouts have always seemed quite British to me, a bit patient, always in awkward places, and often necessitating a great deal of patience, friendliness and queuing. Not for us the adrenaline pumping speed of the autobahn, no siree, we like to queue, and even better cooperate when we get to the front. In fact, the UK Roundabout Appreciation Society (because, of course, there is one) puts it even better than me when they say "Un-like fascist, robotic traffic lights where we are told when to stop and go, the roundabout allows us to show one another our very own English driving decorum... Never is a road system better suited to the English consciousness than one that involves a set of rules and guidelines that harbours a carefully balanced system that relies on etiquette and protocol". Putting to one side that a. there is a UK Roundabout Appreciation Society, and b. they think of traffic lights as fascists, they do make the point well I feel. So when I next approach these liberals of the lane, these democrats of the driving experience shall bear in mind these words of their president, Kevin Beresford Lord of the Rings, and hopefully, eventually, pass my test.

Wish me luck peoples!