The whole (clean) nine yards

Scarf Number 1

So, we’re a month into the new year, our wallets have been reloaded, and bar staff around the land have just about finished mopping up the carpet stains from the weekend marking the end of Dry January, but what really has been achieved? Has anyone kept to their New Year resolutions? Or have we all discarded them with the careless abandon of a Morris dancer prancing across the Devon moors come summer solstice? Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty pleased with how much I have kept to mine. This, my friends, is progress.

I decided back in December that 2016 was going to be the year of ‘New Year, New Me’, and while this has taken several forms (not least setting up my own business!), the first steps I took on this journey of a brand new Sophington was that of New Year resolutions. As I have previously expounded, New Year resolutions are not my thing, but this year I set myself some challenges, and am pleased to report I’m getting along pretty well with them.

I present to you,
the Sophington Scrappers

First and foremost I have learned to knit! Having attended my classes, I am now knitting with the fury of an amphetamine induced Nana! I've knitted a number of scarves (& torn up some others), Ok, so I'm only doing straight lines, but what are all clothes apart from a whole bunch of straight lines put together in interesting ways? I’m telling you, the knitted boob tube is just around the corner, in fact I’ll be surprised if Kanye hasn’t already got some lined up for his next collection.

Secondly, I am thrilled that I am continuing my trend of, if not quite reigning my Fantasy Football league, certainly not sweeping up the bottom. In fact I think I might be the highest scoring girl, which the feminist in me recognizes shouldn’t be an achievement, but the 1950s housewife in me (c’mon, we’ve all got one, haven’t we?) tells me is something to be proud of.

Thirdly, I have been on dates, and between you and I... well actually that’s not up for discussion, I recount my truly awful dates here thanks very much. But, that takes me onto fourthly, trying to be a weeny bit more healthy. Now I know this is a classic resolution. First made, and often first abandoned once we unfit ones have realized just quite what a pain in the rather sweaty ass (& everywhere else) it is to commit to the gym on a regular occurrence. I admit I haven’t gymmed it so much this year (I’ve been in the pool instead – think Esther Williams with less pointy knockers & zero HD brows), and another thing I have taken on is the Clean 9 challenge, and 2 days in I’m feeling pretty fine.

Day 2.... Breakfast

For those of you that don’t know about the Clean 9, it is a 9 day cleanse programme from Forever Living that is designed to kick start a new health regime. I’ve done it before, losing a rather impressive 10lbs and a dress size or two and feeling all round rather tippity top at the end of it. And in my spirit of New Year, New Me (and hopefully slightly less of the old me) I decided it was time to revisit it. As with anything, getting started is always the hardest, and the C9 is no different, as days 1 & 2 consists of nothing except water, aloe vera, some nutritional supplements and a selection of raw fruit and veg. And while I mourn the fact that crisps and chocolate are not included in the list (well, chocolate is made from beans innit? Thus, technically, a vegetable!) I am staying resolute, and feeling all the better for it already. It gets easier from day 3 when ‘proper’ food is introduced (still no crisps or chocolate though *mega sad face*) to the tune of a 600 calorie meal, and although I’m looking forward to it, I am also reveling in my bull headed determination not to be beaten by a bag of kettle chips. You spuds have got nothing on me mister!

So wish me luck peoples! I shall report back with my progress, and while I may never achieve the pointer knocker HD browed goddess like status of Esther Williams, come 12^th Feb I shall be a newer, healthier, hopefully somewhat smaller me, and this can only be a good thing.

Esther & her formidably pointy knockers

p.s If anyone fancies knowing more about the Clean 9 or trying it themselves, just shout. However, pointy knockers? You can research them all by yourself thanks very much...