What with one thing or another, I’ve been thinking a lot about
death recently. Well, death and religion (leaving the taxes for another less
exciting dinner party, naturally). Panic not, you can pop your oyster card
away, there is no need to charge round to Sophington Towers to check for a
pulse, it’s just a fair smattering of Facebook memories from this time last
year has got me thinking… and indeed remembering.
You see this time last year one of my relatives died. Even if I
wanted to speak ill of the dead, I couldn’t as this chap had nary a bad bone in
his body. And my Great Uncle (for it was he) was a Catholic priest. Perhaps
this is the time to go on a slight confessional (ahem) diversion here and stake
my own post in the consecrated ground… Catholicism runs deep in my family. However
much to my grandmother’s dismay it seems that it has come to a sharp halt at my
generation. I am what could be called, a lapsed Catholic. Personally I prefer
to think of myself as half agnostic, half Jedi (imagine a very confused looking
Yoda, sometimes the force is with me). As such, I get all of the guilt without
any of the solace. And despite the what the nay sayers and anti religion types
out there (& there certainly are many in my generation) may think,
religion, or perhaps better put – faith, can offer a lot of solace to those who
have it. In my opinion, that can be no bad thing no matter how misguided others
may think it is, especially important in times of trouble, or at the end of
one’s life as my Great Uncle was. Now, I won’t disagree religion (or perhaps actions
committed in the name of religion), has indeed resulted in some awful
atrocities, however my generation’s dismissal of all things religious (throwing
the faith out with the holy water as it were) can irk me. Anyways, digression
over, that’s where I stand, and that’s what I’m sticking to!
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| The big J-C himself |
You see, I’m rather out of practice at this whole Church thing. I
haven’t been in many a year, in fact not since the last funeral I went to. My
recent Catholic church going history seems less 4 weddings & a funeral,
more just 4 funerals. So not only did I have to go to my local Mass to practice
& make notes (well, there’s an awful lot of kneeling down & standing up
at very specific times during a mass. It plays havoc with the creaky knees
y’know) but it appears I was rather out of the prayer loop too. In the near 20
years since I’ve been away, they’ve changed some of the words. And didn’t I
feel like a chump when I bellowed out a response that it appears went the way
of The Crash Test Dummies, circa 1994, i.e. gone and promptly forgotten (except
by me it seems).
And it being a Catholic funeral service, not only were there
prayers, but also several readings. Honouring my Great Uncle as I wanted to, I
volunteered to do one. Unfortunately for this occasion, despite my 13 years of
Catholic school education & A grade in our mandatory Religious Education
GCSE, I have never been much of a one for the Old Testament, sticking firmly to
the AD chapters as opposed to BC, or as I like to think of it, B-JC. Now, I
don’t know about you, but the Book of Habakkuk (definitely Old Testament with
that name) was never high on my reading list at the University of Lapsed
Catholicism. I’d never even heard of it, let alone read it, and thus was rather
shocked by not only it’s appearance in my life, but also it’s size. At a mere 3
chapters, it’s less of a book and more of a pamphlet in my eyes, but its what
my Great Uncle wanted, so it was what he got, albeit with slight word mangling
(Yahweh anyone?) though am sure he would have understood.
And this being a clergy funeral, he was treated to not one but two
services! The first as low key as one could be with archbishops & a troop
of monks in attendance. The second got the full hurrah, with nigh on 30 priests
showing up. Now, as stated previously, I am not as virulently anti religion as
some I know, in fact, I might go so far as to say that if on the off chance I
would marry, a Catholic blessing wouldn’t be out of the question. But even I
was somewhat unnerved by 30 men doing what looked like a very well rehearsed
hand jive when the Eucharist was raised. Clad as they all were in their white
robes it was like a rather elderly Tai Kwando convention, with slightly
creakier moves… However, when all is said and done, it’s the send off my Great
Uncle planned (though perhaps without my hand jive reference).
So where does this leave me one year on? Remembering certainly,
both the high exposure to Church and my Great Uncle. Am I left with any more
Catholicism running through my bones? Not so much. However, when I think of
him, I think of not only his kindness and faith in god, but also his faith in
humanity, and as the world seems far too often to be going to hell (if you
believe in it!) in a handbasket, surely that can only be a good thing.
